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dont need no guns

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May 16th, 2005

10:06 pm: someone once said that suicide was the most selfish thing anyone could do, i disagree i think if you hate your life then it is the best thing for you. if you truly hate living why bother to keep it it going, i think it takes courage to end your life.

April 19th, 2005

11:47 pm: i feel like shit.

March 29th, 2005

04:36 pm: alright. today is the beginning of a new way of life for me. the life of a single. yep thats right ladies and gentlemen, houston kicked my ass to the curb.

March 18th, 2005

05:22 pm: today i thought about a lot of things. yes i do think. my whole life just seems to be falling apart. i feel like im slipping away from my friends, my family, my boyfriend, and myself. i dont know whats wrong. i just feel so lonely. i mean its like i dont fit in anywhere. am not one of those kids who fit in with the people who are sad and depressed and i dont hang out with preppy people or the normal people or the druggies, or the other groups. but at the same time im not a complete loner. i dont know how to explain it
its like no matter what i do i will never fit in. and its not that i want to, just like i dont think i have any one to talk to. i dont have anyone to confine all my thought with. talk about my past with or anything. i feel like a complete waste of space i dont know why i just do, i feel like i have no purpose. i just wish i could run away.

March 2nd, 2005

07:53 pm: "The sun had gone down behind the tall apartments of the movie stars in the west fifties, and the clear voices of little girls, already gathered like crickets on the grass, rose through the hot twilight"
I'm the sheik of Araby.
Your love belongs to me.
At night you're asleep.
Into your tent i'll creep.

February 24th, 2005

07:39 pm: this month is black history month. im not sure why they need a month...IM NOT RACIST ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS BLACK. it just seems like to me making it black history month only draws them away from the crowd. theres no mexican or white or asian month, nor may i add a white channel on tv But anyway. we had assembly and buster brown came and had a little speech, by the end of it i was so mad i thought my eyes were gonna pop out. he started out by talking about how no white person would ever amount to the black leaders, then it was the bashing of bush, then about how everyone should learn and believe in jesus christ, then about how we should be peaceful,then he went to talk about a car with LEATHER SEATS..and how great those seats are, then about how girls should not let anyone put the "key" in to the "ignition", then about how a girls "temple" was the greatest gift god gave us...not our minds...then he talked about how guys were better than girls. yes i was very mad at the end of that. he made only a few references about black leaders. o i forgot to mention about how he slyly slid in advertisements for 102 jams. AURGGGG. i must say he deserves a nice punch in the face.

February 13th, 2005

07:09 pm: so i went ot this church today called the rock. its one of those crazy churches "new age" anyway i learned alot. here are the main things. one. god didnt give us money to pay bills with but he gave it ot us to give to churches. two duke is going ot hell. three. Homosexuals are BAD BAD BAD people but there is always a chance to change them. four. women should never take off there make-up. yep very important stuff.

February 9th, 2005

12:52 pm: today was soooo pretty. it was the kinda day where you go outside and just forget about all bad things and you just want to run around with no shoes on and jump of joy to be alive, the kinda day where you forgive anyone who ever said mean and hurtful things to you, the kinda day where you wish you would of never said anything mean or make people think you dont like them, the kinda day where you forget when ever things went wrong, the kinda day where you realize that highschool drama is just a waste of time, the kinda day where you realize how much you love and care about those who are close. so this is to anyone i ever hurt by saying mean things about...im sorry...cant we all just get along?

ok well i wrote that yesterday.today im not as happy or forgiving. its funny how things can change so quickly. and how people you thought you trused...well you have 2nd thoughts about them and about there words. so thats all i have to say.

February 5th, 2005

02:47 pm: so i got up at like 6 am to drive and get nats camera then we took pictures. wanted to get the sun rise but it was to bright and we kinda missed it. our hands were like numb. then we went to the park and saw a crazy fast walking old guy. he was wearing sweet tights and a bright jacket. then we went to hanes mall. it was fun heard really weird noises in the bathroom. giggled then we ran out. so thats aboout all for now. bye

February 4th, 2005

09:10 pm: bird is the word
hung out with nat at the gate city noise and i drove there all by myself..woot. had alot of fun. saw a crazy homeless man. meet rash's father seemed like a cool guy.hummm o yes i found out that i look like a bird today and all i have to say to that is bird is the word like the great ramones said.finally today is the last day of p.e. im soo glad, my legs are all beat up and ready for a rest.well im tired.

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